Funny FB status

1. Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
2. Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
3. I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next“.
4. A murderer was sitting on the electric chair. “Do u have any last requests?” “Yes, will u hold my hand?” XD
5. Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
6. Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!
7. I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
8. Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you’re in Heaven!
9. Insert coin to view status message?
10. When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half!
11. If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in jesus name amen”.
12. Ques: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, .. But Paying the Bill does.
13. Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know
14. Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we’ll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. Sincerely, Me.
15. There’s no such thing as insomnia. Just a lot of people with Internet access. (by ziggy)
16. ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – Saket Narayan