More Funny Status, Jack n Jill Style!

1. Jack: Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in India. If I’m not there, I go to work.
2. Jill: Just April Fooled on old lady who was asking for help with getting her walker on the elevator. I kicked her in the shin!
3. Jack remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
4. Jill: When we married, Jack treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed…
5. Jack: I HAD A THOUGHT! No. Wait. False alarm.
6. Jill wonders why people put their relationship status as its complicated..u idiots why don’t u solve your problems instead of broadcasting them?
7. Jill: My fake plants died because I didn’t pretend to water them
8. Jack: Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn’t tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. #FML
9. Jill: Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn’t remind them!
10. Jack: I like to name my iPod “‘Titanic” so when it says “Syncing Titanic” I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero B-)
11. Jack: *After slipping*, I did not fall. I attacked the ground!
12. Jack: No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.”
13. Jack: It recently became apparent to me that the letters ‘T’ and ‘G’ are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I’ll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase “Regards” ever again.
14. Jill is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
15. Jill dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
16. Jack: Don’t waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favorite tune and hum it. If you want to “i“, think of another song you like and hum that instead.
17. Jill is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
18. Jack: I know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2012 coz my yogurt expires in 2013!
19. Jill Went to the doctor because I have stabbing pains in my eyes every time I drink tea or coffee… they advised me to try removing the spoon from the cup.
20. Jack: I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
21. Jill: is forcing her dog to learn facebook.
22. Jack to Jill: Your intelligence is my Common sense!
23. Jack: Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
24. Jill: was thinking why the Frisbee became larger n larger when it suddenly knocked her out.
25. Jack: In a married life, only one person is correct…. and the other one is husband.

Source http://techsplurge.com/3466/45-insanely-funny-facebook-status-ideas-updates/