Santa Message

 Santa : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti
 hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

. Boss : Where were you born ?
Employee: Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
Employee: Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.



12. American told santa : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi
 e-mail se hoti hai.
Santa : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se
 hoti hai.

JOke funny message

 santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes
 while fixing.
Banta: Dont worry, I have one more.

 Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Santa : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
santa : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

 Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks santa why are you removing a wheel from
 your auto.
santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only
 for 2 wheeler.

Funny message for friends

. Employee joined new job. 1st day he worked till
 late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and
 asked what you did till evening.
  Employee: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I
 made it alright..


. On a romantic day santa's girlfriend asks him.
 Darling on our engagement day will you give me a
 ring.
Santa : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


. Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours.
 Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

Funny joke

1. Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi.
  Student: Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I
 don ' t know who is Jayanthi.

2. Customer : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
  Customer: You said this is American made radio. But
 when I put it ON, it says All IndiaRadio.

3. Passenger got into a bus on 1st April when conductor
 asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the
 ticket and said April fool.. I have a  pass.

Funny Message for friends

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

→ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

→ At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

→ The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

→ i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

Funny Status

 E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.


→ Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.


→ For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"


→ God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!


→ God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!


→ HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!


→ Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Funny Message

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand


→ A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.


→ Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!


→ At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

→ Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!


→ Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

बायको :- मागच्या बर्थडे

बायको :- मागच्या बर्थडे
ला तुम्ही मला लोखंडाचा पलंग दिलेला,
या वेळी काय देणार जानू???
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नवरा :- काय नाय, या वेळी त्यातून
"Electric Current" सोडणार मी...

Puneri Pati

नाही कळणार किंमत, तुला माझ्या प्रेमाची..

नाही कळणार किंमत,
तुला माझ्या प्रेमाची..

रडशील जेव्हा बंद होईल,
श्वास कायमचा माझा..
...
मग भांडशील कुणा सोबत,
सांगशील का मला..

म्हणशील ना मग मनाशीचं,
खरचं खुप
चांगल्या मनाचा होता प्रियकर माझा..

पण काय उपयोग गेलो असेल,
कायमचा मी लांब तुझ्या,
म्हणुन म्हणतो नाही कळणार किँमत,
तुला माझ्या प्रेमाची.. 

‎10 Lessons from Einstein

1. Follow Your Curiosity “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

2. Perseverance is Priceless “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

3. Focus on the Present “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

4. The Imagination is Powerful “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

5. Make Mistakes “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

6. Live in the Moment “I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”

7. Create Value “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

8. Don’t be repetitive “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

9. Knowledge Comes From Experience “Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience.”

10. Learn the Rules and Then Play Better “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

मैत्रीचे नाते किती अनमोल असते

मैत्रीचे नाते किती अनमोल असते, हे त्यादिवशी त्याला कळले जेव्हा ती त्याच्यासोबत मैत्री तोडते... मैत्री होती दोघांची पण प्रेमी सारखे भांडायचे, नको त्या गोष्टीला धरून बसायचे... रोजच्या भांडणाला कंटाळून मैत्री तिने तोडली, तिच्या या निर्णयाने इथली दिशाच पलटली... स्वतःला त्यानी बदलले तिच्यासाठी,कारण त्याला हवी होती तिची मैत्री कायमसाठी... खूप प्रयत्न केले त्याने तिला समजवण्याचे, नाही आता आपले कधी भांडण व्हायचे... जिथे ती नाही तिथे त्याला नाही रमायचे, ती असली तर मन फुलून जायायचे... तिच्या सोबत बोलायला त्याला दिवस कमी पडायचा, फोन करून थकला तरी msgचा तर वर्षाव करायचा... मैत्री होती ती का? दुसर कोणत नात, नाही सापडल उत्तर म्हणून आज तुमच्यासमोर सगळ मांडल... 

Every Brother Doesn't Like His Sister To talk With A Guy in

Every Brother Doesn't Like His Sister To talk With A Guy in
Late Night
But
Every Brother Want's To talk With
Someone's Sister in Late Night!!!!

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Decent Facebook Status

 Sometimes I need someone there for me. Tired of being there for everyone else.

You are truly a blessing from God. Thank you for being my partner, spouse, lover, and friend.

Things will always work out if you do what you want without worrying about the consequences.

Don’t cry because of one person. Remember, there are still 6,870,135,814 people to smile to.

Sometimes we make someone else our priority than those who really deserves it!
We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

We pick our friends and then life sorts them out.

If you run, make sure you’re running towards something. Never away.

The key to happiness is to always have control over your emotions.
Take every chance. Drop every fear.

If someone doesn’t appreciate your presence, make them appreciate your absence.

Write your sad times in sand, and write your good times in stone..

There comes a time in life when you just need to sit back and relax and focus on all the good things in your life and just put all the bad aside for awhile.

To gain something you’ve never had you may have to do something you’ve never done..

Always be true to yourself, don’t live by the opinions or choices of others, but by your own..

Naughty Facebook Status

I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.

I lost a bet and I have to come here and ask the hottest girl on a date…who do you girls think is the hottest girl in this place?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Smile is the second best thing you can do with your lips. ;-)

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I’ve been doing since 15. ;-)


Some people say the glass is half empty. Others say it’s half full. I’m just happy to have a glass!

The key of my happiness, just forgetting my past.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

Love is blind, and greed insatiable..

Practice makes perfect, But nobody’s perfect, so why practice?

If u feel stressed, give yourself a break Eat some ice cream, chocolates, candy & cake Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS..

Happy New Year Wishes, FB New Year Greetings

Wishing you a fabulous 2012 with full of great achievements and experiences.

A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!


May this new year bring many opportunities your way, To explore every joy of life & turning all your dreams into reality & all your efforts into great achievements.


Happiness keeps you sweet Trials make you strong Sorrows make you humble Success keeps you glowing & God keeps you going. May you have a greatest 2012

Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Arnold, Jennifer Lopez, Amitabh Bachhan & Me.. All the Stars wish You a Very Happy New Year.

Don’t wait for a new year to change your perspective. Get up and be proactive today!
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

Here is a wishing that the coming year is a glorious one. That rewards all your future endeavors with success.

If you are not happy being single you will never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life and love it first, then share it.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
New year, same goal.

Flirt Facebook Status

Somewhere between laughing for no reason, stupid arguments, and making fun of each other, I fell in love with you.

I can’t read lips unless they are touching mine.

It makes me smile to wake up next to you.

All the birds in the sky, all the fish in the sea, will never explain what you mean to me.

I dont need to dream, I got you!

I am so much better at text flirting than real flirting.

I think I can die happy now, coz I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

God was showing off when He created you.

I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

You are the like of my like.

Smile… it’s the second best thing to do with your lips.

I’m 50% single.

Stolen kisses are always sweetest….

I’m falling in like you know.

Facebook I LOVE YOU status

People aren’t afraid of saying ‘I love you’. They’re afraid of hearing the response.

I love you. Don’t ever think that I don’t, and don’t ever forget that I do.

Now you know …… No one’s ever loved anyone as much as I love you.

If in this lifetime, I wont get to have you, I’ll make sure that if I meet you in my next life I wont have to think twice on saying that “I waited a lifetime to say I love you.

“I love you” is not enough to describe my feelings for you.

You make my days beautiful and nights wonderful. I Love You

If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to say, I love you.

I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.

Never ask why I love you, just accept that I do, and that I will for the rest of my life.

If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.

Once I loved until I could not breathe.

When you truly love someone you do what it takes.Sometimes that is letting go no matter the pain.

Facebook Crazy Status

Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

Don’t think too much, you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.

Why does it always rain the hardest on those who deserve the sun?

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

A wise man once said, You can’t be old & wise, if you were never young & crazy.

Being someones FIRST may be great but being LAST is perfect…

People change, things change, time changes, priorities change, but expectations always remain the same..

My head is telling my heart “I told you so!”.

Some people should try thinking, it’s not illegal yet

I’m not crazy, I’m just special.

I was talking to myself last night and we both agreed that you’re crazy..

Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee, you can’t stop me! I broke my off switch..

If a thoughtless thought is thought, would a thought thoughtlessly think of thoughtless thoughts whenever thinking thoughts are thoughtless? What a thought, eh?

I know that you know that I know what you know and you know what they know so I know what you know they know, you know?

Facebook Jokes

I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.

I don’t understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Taking revenge is wrong… very very wrong… But very very fun…

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It’s not fair that some men should be happier than others.

A hot secretary came angrily out Of boss cabin. Her colleague asked: What Happened? You went inside in a happy mood. She replied: He asked me are you free tonight? I said absolutely free. That bastard gave me 45 pages to type!

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet…

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…

One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.

Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..

Laziness is my middle name.

Angry Facebook Status

My life, My choices, My problems, My mistakes, My lessons. Not your business, mind your own problems before you talk about mine.

Don’t put words into my mouth. I have got plenty to say. Don’t tell me how to live my life, I do things my way.

Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

Some friends are like pennies. Two-faced & worthless.

You can’t trust anybody these days…you think you have a good friend till you turn around and realize they have the knife 6 inches deep in your back.

Don’t make so many promises when you can’t even keep one.

I’m gonna come back as a bird in my next life. There are just some people who I feel deserve a little of their own medicine.

When we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves.

Do you ever get the feeling that you would like to reach out and just choke someone?

Attitude and personality are two different things.

Beware, I’m not in my greatest mood today..

You have a problem with me. I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it..

By God, there’s a lot to make you angry.

Don’t chat with me just when you’re bored. Bitch please! My name is not Adam Lambert. I’m not here for your entertainment.

Amazing Facebook Status

If your girlfriend claims that she never looks at your Facebook profile; Try changing your status to SINGLE and wait 2-3 minutes.

I am ready to sleep forever and ever, if you just want to be with me in my dreams.

90% of what is considered IMPOSSIBLE” os infact possible. The other 10% will become possible with the passage of time & technology.

I don’t like to think myself as SPECIAL , I like to think myself as limited edition :)

You don’t need to know everything in life, just the things that make you happy

Some lessons can’t be taught, they simply have to be learned.

Love has 4 letters, but so does Hate; Friends has 7 letters, but so does Enemies; Truth has 5 letters, but so does Lying.

we cannot choose our beginnings… we cannot choose our end… but the moments in between… we choose who we are.

When your plan doesn’t work, don’t take too much time to think about it. Make another plan.

Just because you have experienced pain doesn’t mean you won’t feel happiness again.

What the heart gives away is never gone. It is kept in the hearts of others.

Don`t judge me tomorrow by the way im acting today.

Say What You Mean But Mean What You Say.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.