Q. In the year1970

Q. In the year1970-
Engineer sahib kaa ghar konsa hai?
Answer:- Wo jo bada bangla hai, wahin rehten hain!

.
.
.
Q:In the year 2012-
Excuse me, Yahan engineer kaa ghar konsa hai?
A:- Abe, kisi bhi ghar me ghus jaa.
Ekk naa ekk to hoga. :P :D :D

Funny Jokes Ek baar Pappu Bike par ja

Ek baar Pappu Bike par ja
raha tha aur helmat pahen rakha tha.

Raste main bike rok kar
helmet k upper se hi apna sir
khujane laga...
. .
.

Ek aadmi ne kaha Are helmet
to utar do. .
.

Pappu : Saale haramkhor, Jab tere pichhwade main
khujli hoti

hai to kya to pant kholkar khujata hai..???

Funny FB post

खुळा 1 :- कुत्रं अन् मांजर कुणीही पाळील. त्याचं काय?

खुळा 1 :- कुत्रं अन् मांजर कुणीही पाळील. त्याचं काय?
मी मासा पाळला होता. पाण्याशिवाय राहायला शिकवलं होतं.
मी निघालो की पाठीमागं उड्या मारीत यायचा.’’

खुळा 2:-‘‘असं ? मग हल्ली दिसत नाही कुठं तो ?’’

खुळा 1:-‘‘काय करायचं राव ? दुर्दैव म्हणायचं, दुसरं काय ?

दोन महिन्यापूर्वीची गोष्ट....मी फिरायला निघालो असताना तो पाठीमागे उड्यामारत येत होता.

पुलावरून जात असताना त्याचा पाय घसरला.
तो पाण्यात पडला आणि बुडून मेला !’’

Funny Pic

Funny Facebook Pictures

एकदा बायको आपल्या नवर्‍याला दचकवण्यासाठी काळे कपडे घालून

एकदा बायको आपल्या नवर्‍याला दचकवण्यासाठी काळे कपडे घालून 
अंधारात लपून बसते.

नवरा संध्याकाळी घरी येतो,तेव्हा ती नवर्‍यासमोर थयाथया नाचत उभी राहते.

नवरा : कोण तू???
...
बायको : मी हडळ आहे, हडळ...हा हा हा !!!
:
:
:
:
नवरा : वा, वा, वा....
मग हात मिळव माझ्याशी...
मी तुझ्या
बहिणीचा नवरा 

Funny Marathi Joke एका सरदारजीला एका माणसाने सांगितलं,

एका सरदारजीला एका माणसाने सांगितलं, "आज दुपारी बारा वाजता तुला कोणीतरी फसवणार आहे." सरदारजी म्हणाला, "शक्यच नाही ! आज मी मुळी घरीच राहणार नाही. मी संपूर्ण दिवस माझ्या मित्राच्या घरी जाऊन राहिन."

सरदार सकाळपासून मित्राच्या घरी गेला. दुपारचे बारा वाजत आले. सरदार खूश झाला. बारा वाजायला एक मिनिट बाकी असताना एक माणूस धापा टाकत आला आणि त्याला म्हणाला, " लवकर घरी चल. तुझ्या घराला आग लागली आहे आणि तुझी बायको आणि मुलं त्यात जळून खाक झाली आहेत !"

सरदार घाबरला. तो धावतच घरी गेला. घरी गेल्यावर त्याच्या लक्षात आलं की आपलं लग्नच झालं नाहीये !!!

Funny Joke जंगलातून एक हत्ती चे पिल्लू चालले होते.

जंगलातून एक हत्ती चे पिल्लू चालले होते.

उंदराने बिळातून पहिले. मनाशी म्हणाला "
बराच मोठा दिसतोय ! "
तरीही त्याने तोंड बाहेर काढून हत्तीच्या पिल्लला विचारले
"तुझे वय काय?"

हत्ती म्हणाला , " सहा महिने"

हात्तीने विचारले "तुझे वय काय? "

उंदीर म्हणाला , "माझेही वय सहा महिने च आहे, पण
मी सारखा आजारी असतो." 

10 Facebook Tips and Tricks for Making Your Facebook Experience Incredible

1. How to add a dislike button to your status updates??

You can find Like button everywhere on Facebook, but what if you want to add a dislike button to your posts or status updates? You can do that by the help of Status Magic Facebook app.

2. Access Facebook via Microsoft Outlook

If Facebook is blocked in your office, then you can try this trick for using Facebook using the Microsoft Outlook Software. Try FBLook plugin and you’ll be able to access FB using your Microsoft Outlook mail client. This is the only thing you need to continuously update your Facebook status and see your friends online without ever missing a day at work.

3. How to pre-schedule your status updates??

Yup, you can pre-schedule your status updates by using a free app named Later Bro. Just sign in with your Facebook account select your time zone, type in what it is you’d like to say, set the calendar and clock to when you’d like to say it, and presto!

4. How to integrate Facebook toolbar into your browser?

To make your Facebook experience more incredible, try using facebook toolbar. But folks, this feature will work only on Mozilla Firefox. To get this helpful add-on, just click on this link and click install and you’re done.

5. How to Create an FB Photo Collage?

If you’re a photo lover, then this app is probably for you. Just go to this link and install the application and this application will easily create a photo collage of your Facebook photos.

6. Add Fantastic Magic Circles on Facebook

Though this trick is very simple, still I was not able to do it in my first try. These magic circles appearing on your facebook page will make your page very stylish. You just need to-

Press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Enter key then press up & down.

If this trick doesn’t work in first try, then refresh the page and try again.

7. How to see your status update statistics?

Have you ever wondered how many times you’ve updated your status on Facebook? Well, there is an app named Status Statistics which will allow you to view all of this.

8. How to view status updates from around the world?

If you want to take a look at what others are saying in their updates from around the world, then this app is specially for you. By using app named OpenBook you can do this.

9. How to turn your status updates into word clouds?

By using Status Analyzer 3D application, you can turn your status updates into pretty, colorful and animated 3D word cloud.

10. How to remove Facebook Adverts

Are you annoyed by Facebook Adverts? Then this script can help you a lot. Facebook: Cleaner script removes most annoying Facebook Adverts from your Facebook Page.

http://www.geekersmagazine.com/2010/04/03/facebook-tips-and-tricks.html

More Funny Status, Jack n Jill Style!

1. Jack: Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in India. If I’m not there, I go to work.
2. Jill: Just April Fooled on old lady who was asking for help with getting her walker on the elevator. I kicked her in the shin!
3. Jack remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
4. Jill: When we married, Jack treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed…
5. Jack: I HAD A THOUGHT! No. Wait. False alarm.
6. Jill wonders why people put their relationship status as its complicated..u idiots why don’t u solve your problems instead of broadcasting them?
7. Jill: My fake plants died because I didn’t pretend to water them
8. Jack: Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn’t tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. #FML
9. Jill: Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn’t remind them!
10. Jack: I like to name my iPod “‘Titanic” so when it says “Syncing Titanic” I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero B-)
11. Jack: *After slipping*, I did not fall. I attacked the ground!
12. Jack: No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.”
13. Jack: It recently became apparent to me that the letters ‘T’ and ‘G’ are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I’ll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase “Regards” ever again.
14. Jill is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
15. Jill dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
16. Jack: Don’t waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favorite tune and hum it. If you want to “i“, think of another song you like and hum that instead.
17. Jill is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
18. Jack: I know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2012 coz my yogurt expires in 2013!
19. Jill Went to the doctor because I have stabbing pains in my eyes every time I drink tea or coffee… they advised me to try removing the spoon from the cup.
20. Jack: I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
21. Jill: is forcing her dog to learn facebook.
22. Jack to Jill: Your intelligence is my Common sense!
23. Jack: Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
24. Jill: was thinking why the Frisbee became larger n larger when it suddenly knocked her out.
25. Jack: In a married life, only one person is correct…. and the other one is husband.

Source http://techsplurge.com/3466/45-insanely-funny-facebook-status-ideas-updates/

Funny FB status

1. Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
2. Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
3. I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next“.
4. A murderer was sitting on the electric chair. “Do u have any last requests?” “Yes, will u hold my hand?” XD
5. Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
6. Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!
7. I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
8. Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you’re in Heaven!
9. Insert coin to view status message?
10. When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half!
11. If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in jesus name amen”.
12. Ques: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, .. But Paying the Bill does.
13. Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know
14. Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we’ll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. Sincerely, Me.
15. There’s no such thing as insomnia. Just a lot of people with Internet access. (by ziggy)
16. ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – Saket Narayan

Funny facebook status

1. A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
2. Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving.
   Cop: Sir have you been drinking?
   Man: No.
   Cop: Papers.
   Man: Scissors, I win!
3. Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
4. I’m not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time: lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
5. Dear Warner Bros: Now that I’m an adult, I feel I’m am old enough to hear what the “Beep Beep” is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
6. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
7. Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
8. Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says “Look, a dead bird.” Blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE, WHERE?”
9. Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
10. Scratch here – ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?
11. Would like to congratulate their parents on having such an awesome daughter-well done! 
12. When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either

EK BAR EK SHOPPING MALL NE EK DELHI KA LADKA

EK BAR EK SHOPPING MALL NE EK DELHI KA LADKA AS A SALESMAN HIRE KIYA. SALE BADHNE LAGI-DIN DUGNI, RAAT CHAUGUNI.

BOSS NE SOCHA IS LADKE SE MUJHE MILNA HAI. BOSS MALL PAR AAYA, USNE DEKHA LADKA EK CUSTOMER KO FISHING-ROD BECH RAHA THA.

WOH DOOR KHADA HO KAR HI USKO CUSTOMER SE DEAL KARTE DEKHNE LAGAA. LADKE NE FISHING-ROD BECH DI. CUSTOMER NE KAHA KITNE RUPAYE, LADKA BOLA RS.800/-.
YEH KAHKAR LADKE NE CUSTOMER KE SHOES DEKHE AUR BOLA, ITNE MEHANGE SHOES PAHANKAR FISHING KARNE JAYENGE? EK SPORT SHOE BHI KHARID LIJIYE, CUSTOMER NE SPORT SHOES BHI KHARID LIYE. AB LADKE NE KAHA TALAAB KINARE DHOOP MEIN BAITHNA PADEGA, EK CAP BHI KHARID LIJIYE TO THEEK REHEGA, CUSTOMER NE CAP BHI KHARID LI. AB LADKE NE KAHA, MACHLI PAKADNE MEIN BAHUT INTEZAR KARNA PADEGA, KUCH EATABLES, WAFER, BISCUITS BHI LE JAIYE, CUSTOMER NE WOH BHI KHARID LIYE. LADKA BOLA MACHLI PAKDENGE TO RAKHENGE KAHAN ? YEH EK RS.100/- KI BASKET BHI LE LIJIYE, CUSTOMER NE WOH BHI KHARID LI.
AB TOTAL BILL BANA RS.2000/- KA.

BOSS BAHUT KHUSH HUA. USNE LADKE KO BULAYA AUR KAHA, TUM TO KAMAL KE SALESMAN HO. WOH AADMI FISHING ROD KHARIDANE AYAA . . AUR TUMANE USEY ITNA SARA SAMAAN BECH DIYA, VERY GOOD.

LADKA BOLA, ‘ SIR, WOH AADMI TO “WHISPER” NAPKIN KHARIDANE AYAA THA USKI BIWI KE TRAVEL KE LIYE, MAINE KAHA, CHAR DIN TU GHAR PAR KYA KAREGA, ‘”JAA MACHLI PAKAD’”

Animated Stories - Mulla Nasruddin - Kids Videos - Hindi

Wo pyar ka sabot dikhaya karte the

Wo pyar ka sabot dikhaya karte the…
Ansu baha ke hume manaya karte the…
Is zindagi main sirf aap se wasta hai…
Wo aksar hame batlaya karte the…
Sone ki fursat kise the….
Wo hume saari raat jagaya karte the…
Bechaini jab had se zyada badh jati the…
Tab wo jee bhar ke gale lagaya karte the…
Wo mohabbat karne wale badal gaye….
Jo har baat par “meri kasam” khaya karte the…


Waqif Hoon Mein Duniya K En Riwajoon Sy . . .
Dil Jab Bhar Jaye To Har Koi Bhula Deta Hai 


Ek Bewafa ki yaad me humne haath me jam uth liya….

Ek Bewafa ki yaad me humne haath me jam uth liya….
Phir lagaya bread ko aur fatafat kha liya…

Moral :
sare aashiq bewade nahi hote…kuchh bhukkad bhi hote hai!!!!

Aaj Rootha huwa ik dost bohot yaad aaya

Aaj Rootha huwa ik dost bohot yaad aaya

Acha guzra huwa kuch waqt bohot yaad aaya.

Meri aankho k her ik ashk pe ronay wala

Aaj jab aankh yeh roee tu bohot yaad aaya.

Jo mere dard ko seene main chupa laita tha

aj jab dard huwa mujh ko bohot yaad aaya.

Jo meri aankh main kajal ki tara rehta tha

aaj kajal jo lagaya tu bohot yaad aaya....

Is Duniya Me Bahut Khas Ho Tum,

Is Duniya Me Bahut Khas Ho Tum,

Wo Khus Kismat H Jinke Pas Ho Tum,
Hmara Bas Chale to Wo Pal Hi Na Aane De,
Jis Pal Hume Lge Ki Kuch Udas Ho Tum...

I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together. ..

Ae Jaan Ajeeb Rishta Hai Mera Tumse Or Tanhai Se.
Tum Paas Ho To wo Rooth Jaati Hai
Or Tum Rooth Jao To wo Paas Aa Jaati Hai..

Make sure that in search of a perfect person

Make sure that in search of a perfect person
You dont loose a true one,
Becouse
Perfection is fantasy
&
Truth is realty
Hit ..like.. If you agree


I Love the way you kiss me
I Love the way you hold me tight
I Love the way you touch me
I Love the way you make me laugh
For absolutely no reason at all. ❀❀❀

I just want you to know,
That even though we sometimes fight,
I will always Love you ♥♥♥

Facebook Cool Status

When I look at you, I cannot deny there is a God, cause only God could have created someone as wonderful and beautiful as you.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

No one is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry.


YoU LoVe SuM1, YoU MaRrY SuM1Else, ThE OnE U MaRrY BeCoMe YoUr HuSbAnD/Wife & ThE oNe YoU LoVe BeCoMeS "PASSWORD OF UR EMAIL ID

someone asked me y do girls love teddy bears.....i replied...coz they dont hurt as ppl do......


If he is stupid enef to walk away, i'm smart enef to let him go.

In My Dreams You Are My Life..........'''''''''......... But..........,,,,,..... In My Life You Are A Dream.........!!!!!!!!

sumtyms solutions aren't so simple..so goodbye is the only way.

Top 10 Facebook Status

HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

Do you love me because I am beautiful,
or am I beautiful because you love me?

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Which of the three are you?

Avoid Life
.....IT.......
Kills in d
END

I am a bad liar…thats why i prefer telling the truth…

I HaT3 GaLs .. Except The 0n3 Wh0z reaDing ThIz...

I dropped a tear in the ocean and when someone finds it i'll stop l♥ving y♥u.

I m crying because u dont love me but why r u crying..."WHY"

Funny Facebook Status Messages

decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

thinks that a bad thing about a good thing is that it always comes to an end.

If a cop stops me and says "papers" and I say "scissors" do I win?

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!

wondering why every woman is wrong until she cries, and then, viola, she is right, instantly!

Glow-in-the-dark condoms: now you see it, now you don't!

says In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend

If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee!

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin
I am used but in good condition

It would be some much easier for me to be compassionate, if compassionate meant smacking people in the head.

Don't you wonder why people look back at the same spot when they trip over it? As if the sidewalk is going to talk back or laugh at them.

Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that you're not really friends with them?

a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school's pool.

I went away and came back with a cup of water..... Is that wrong?

a paper cut is a trees last revenge =)

Late Nazia Hasan & Anushka Sharma Comparison.

Santa Message

 Santa : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti
 hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

. Boss : Where were you born ?
Employee: Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
Employee: Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.



12. American told santa : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi
 e-mail se hoti hai.
Santa : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se
 hoti hai.

JOke funny message

 santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes
 while fixing.
Banta: Dont worry, I have one more.

 Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Santa : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
santa : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

 Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks santa why are you removing a wheel from
 your auto.
santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only
 for 2 wheeler.

Funny message for friends

. Employee joined new job. 1st day he worked till
 late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and
 asked what you did till evening.
  Employee: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I
 made it alright..


. On a romantic day santa's girlfriend asks him.
 Darling on our engagement day will you give me a
 ring.
Santa : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


. Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours.
 Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

Funny joke

1. Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi.
  Student: Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I
 don ' t know who is Jayanthi.

2. Customer : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
  Customer: You said this is American made radio. But
 when I put it ON, it says All IndiaRadio.

3. Passenger got into a bus on 1st April when conductor
 asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the
 ticket and said April fool.. I have a  pass.

Funny Message for friends

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

→ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

→ At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

→ The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

→ i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

Funny Status

 E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.


→ Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.


→ For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"


→ God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!


→ God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!


→ HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!


→ Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Funny Message

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand


→ A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.


→ Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!


→ At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

→ Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!


→ Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.